Relationship Status: Single and In Love
It is so fascinating to observe changes in seasons each year. Spring is the time when seeds grow their roots and fruits and other vegetation ripen. And summer brings hot temperature; a season where going to the beach, sun bathing and eating ice cream are best. Another is autumn, where temperature begins to drop and leaves begin to fall. And lastly, winter, a season where cozy blankets are out and magical snowflakes scatter. It is an exciting thought that these four seasons take place each year. Trees, plants and flowers will not grow without completely undergoing through these stages. And so life will prematurely grow if we stay in one season for the rest of the year. As I continue to observe, seasons are somewhat correlated with stages in life. It is such a beauty that we go through a process of growing and cultivating. And because of this, I notice the importance of enjoying every moment in our lives. Whether we are in our youth, young professional or raising a family kind of stage, each status serves its purpose in our journey. Besides, knowing our season means being able to live life fully without any regrets. So let me ask you, what do you think is your season right now?
As I went through the process of assessment, I have learned that my season at the moment is to enjoy singlehood at it’s finest. Yes, you read it right. Being single is one of the seasons we have to carefully go through in life. Though a lot of people put such high premium in entering a relationship at a precocious age, I believe being with someone has a right timing. King Solomon, a wise king, said “There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the sun.” And so, after going through that assessment, though being single, who says we can’t be in love? hmmm.
Let me give you 3 practical ways on how to stay in love in the midst of singlehood.
Learn to love yourself
Have you heard of the saying “You cannot give others what you do not have”? Love starts from you. This is not to promote egoism but learning to love yourself can also benefit others. When you know how to love yourself, you will know how to love others as well. It is a matter of being secured with your identity. I know we all have that desire to be loved by someone. That’s our nature! However, letting someone enter in our lives with a huge hole in our hearts is like imposing damage in another person’s life. Learning to love oneself and being contented with who you are is the first step in being whole. Nobody is perfect but anybody can become the best version of themselves. As individuals, we are never called to remain stagnant, but we are meant to thrive. And so I encourage you to find ways on how you can improve yourself. Aim to be the kind of man or woman you are really meant to be by knowing and loving yourself first.
Learn to love your season
Since your season is singlehood, embrace it. Take your time and do not rush things. What I meant with taking time is exploring this season and doing the things you are called to do. Whether you are called in a music industry, in the corporate world or called to serve in church, be the best in that career. Aside from your career, maximize your time in doing things you love the most. If you love to sing, enroll in a music class. If you love to write, write as many as you can and attend workshops. If you love to travel, travel like it will be your last day. It’s not that you cannot do all these things with someone beside you, but doing the things you love at this stage has lesser restriction and has a lot more freedom. Being single is also the time to prepare for the next stage. Challenge your thinking, be physically fit, learn to be emotionally stable and live a life submitted to your creator. Becoming the best at this stage is preparing the best for the next season. Nick Vujicic, a famous inspirational speaker who has no arms and legs, once said “If you are not happy single, you won’t be happy married.” So live life to the fullest as a single person and you will enjoy life in the next season.
Last but not the least,
Learn to love the people closest to you
You won’t stay long at singlehood. (Unless you are called to celibacy) One day, a man will come at your door and ask your hands from your father. Or if you’re a man, one day you’ll kneel down in front of a woman, get married and build your family. It’s a season we all go through. So I encourage you to love your family and spend time with them as much as you can. Loving them also serves as a training ground for your future. If you’re a sister to your siblings, serve them like you’re serving your future children. If you’re a brother, love and protect your family like protecting your own future family. Because how you treat your family will greatly affect how you treat your future spouse and children. So love your family and enjoy your time with them. Moreover, friends are also the people whom you can enjoy life with. The bible says “There is no greater love than to lay down his life for one’s friends.” Enjoy their company and treat them with genuine love. If you’re a man, treat your lady friends with such purity and chivalry. Practice opening the door for them, sacrifice for them and protect them. If you’re a woman, treat your guy friends with honor and respect by nurturing love and care. In short, never get tired of doing good to your friends because one day you’re going to be a loving friend to your future partner.
Who says we can’t be in love while single? Yes we can. And above all, the best thing to do in this season is learn to love and trust God who writes our story. He is the author of love stories in all history and he promised to give us the best. He will never shortchange us. Being single is also the season where we can increase our faith and know that God already secured our every season. It teaches us to be contented with what we have and be satisfied with the love we can get from God and the people around us. As the cliché goes, best things come to those who wait. Unless you’re ready for the next stage, remain still and be patient. As for me, I know I am still young and entering the next season is not a wise move unless I am prepared enough to do so. If the traffic light is still red, I will enjoy the red light and grow in the knowledge of hope, faith and love. As we learn to love ourselves, our life and our current situation, let us actively wait for God’s timing. For one day, God will shift that red light to green because he knows we are ripe enough to enter the next season.